A choice to LOVE.

Good mornin all!! Im up early this mornin with something I want to share. I want to share it because it's something I've experienced and dealt with my entire life. I know some of you have too! This post may be a bit long so get comfy! ;)

As you've all been told, I love kids. I blame my mother. Not because I have many brothers and sisters( I only have 2 and grew up an only child until 12), but because my mom used to do daycare out of our home. With that being said, any child I come in contact with (ones that I see all the time not the ones that smile at me while I'm workin, im no creeper), I love them like they are my own. I just have a really big heart :)

I also give credit to my dad (who Is my stepdad but has had the step removed). He came into my life at a young age and loved me. 

Now as I think back on it, I realize how challenging that was for him. Not because my biological father was trying to be an active parent in my life, but because I was trying so hard to figure out why he (biological dad) didn't love me when I should have been loving my "step" dad instead. My "step" dad was hurting because he saw me hurting. I was young and naïve. My biological father didn't care enough to fight for me but everyday my "step" dad was proving to me he was worth calling dad. 

As I got older and was able to see how things really were, I realized my "step" dad was pretty dang amazing. He wasn't even my "real" dad and he loved me! His family loved me. So that means, Im his family and they are my family too! That's when I dropped the "step" and just call him dad. My dad has filled a huge part of my heart that was empty. He's taught me how to love just by loving me. He's my rock. 

I had someone tell me once "...I can't raise or love another mans child." And that hurt me. I don't have kids of my own, but to think that someone would deny a child love because they did not help conceive or birth them is beside me. I just always loved kids so much I didn't even think about not loving someone else's kids because they weren't "mine". And since I grew up with a "step" parent, It was easier for me to accept I suppose. Nobody said it would be easy, but it would be worth it. 

I've wanted to become a mother for YEARS. Yet Im just a fur mom and though that may be slightly similar, it's not the same as being a real mother. When I was younger I always wanted to be a mother by 25. Well I turn 25 this year and by the looks of it, I still won't have had a child( but who knows, I can't tell the future). I've completely left it up to God because He knows when the time is right. And it's not the right time for me to become pregnant and birth a child. Instead He gave me a man who has a little boy who needs the love of a mother in his life. Going into a relationship with someone who has kids is tough. Dealing with getting to know your partner and their family, you also gota add getting to know their child. It's a new experience for me but challenge accepted. :)

I will end on that note for this topic today but Im positive I will have more to say later! Be easy, stay blessed. 

  - Mz J!